BEAUTIFIED PRINCESS x. FEAT. Miss Beauty Queen.

Wednesday, February 14

11:59 PM

; how badly iwant you;

my worst nightmare has
happened. i cannot dream
of anything worst than this..

i still love youu, deep down inside.
but please dont hate me for that.
at this point, i still dont believe
this is gonna be th end of this story.
somewhere inside of me, i know we're
not any typical couple. attract & repel.
no, we're gonna attract till th rest of
our lives. hah, but its kinda funny saying
all this now. cos i guess you dont feel
th same way as i do. its alright. (:

i hope this period of time,
you will find a purpose t your life.
a true meaning you have been searching
for. i'll still be here, for you. loving you..

;although th love i want from you
might not return, i still hope you
still love me, as your bestest bestest
bestie best best bestie best ever forever
girl-friend. i will love you, no matter
friend or lover. both ways, i really love you.

&you know,
how much i miss you ?
im missing you so so badly..

.
valentine's day is not a day t remember.
i admit, it wasn't easy t go school too.
even on my way t bedok interchange,
closing my eyes trying t rest just make
me crack up in tears.. how embarrassing
th bedok north boy had t stare at me. ha.

met mab honey at bedok.
headed t mac. shes so sweet.
bought me an applepie even
when i didnt feel like eating.
infact, that was what i survived
on today. how weird i can get.

;baby, th first few morning smses
you sent me really made me very
touched nd happy.. how i wish we
could turn your words into actions.
"i really wanna hug youu.."
"i really miss youu vicky.."

ay. anyways went t school at 1045.
had recess. nd three other subjects.
&somehow, im starting t hate free
periods alr. how it makes me think
nd miss youu so badly.. after school,
alice called me. ay, i didnt want t
be reminded about anything that
happened on vday. but yeah, cracked
up. poor honey, all helpless nd stuff.
i remember looking at th clock,
3'o clock sharp & i said,
ay i'm single for 13 hours alr.
nd i still feel like shit..
nd when hilda asked about it,
i made her guilty again. nd they
just started hugging me nd saying
they dont wanna let go of me.. hah.
so cute huh. love you all.

many people asked about me.
some people knew about it.
some people asked about it.
all of this occasions just make
me tear up. i'm sorry but i really
didnt mean t be this weak inside.
i tried t control so badly.. just by
keeping myself busy. nd always,
no matter how busy i am, i hate
it for being so emotional out of nowhere.

thank you all for th vday gifts.
i came with full gifts t give away.
nd came back with a full bag in return.
thank you all for that, but th greatest
present i can ever get is ryan.
thats my greatest wish for my life.
not for this year, but for my life.

oh, nd upon reading mab honey's card..
i cried. (right mab, thanks alot)

yeah. she wrote this at 12.48am
after i called her. thanks alot.
really appreciate it. very touched.

&i think th last valentine's day i
actually celebrated is last year.
or maybe this year, just a day before.
yeap. no more such stupid cupid day
for me anymore. kinda tired of it.

something which my chairman kept
repeating it a number of times..

valentine's day is a day t remind
those single people how their life suck.

;ay, after hearing it..
it just hit me so badly.
smacked down on my reality.
that statement is just for me..
&i even remember telling mable
how i cannot imagine myself
coming t school, being single.
i felt so insecure today. i never
imagined whatever i thought
wouldn't happen t me, happened.
although th world sees me as th
same old vic, i just think my fore-
head reads something new for them.
i'm scared t face th world.
but i promised t keep strong.

anyways, i'll blog about th jap girls
homestay at my house tmr ok ?
now, they are peacefully sleeping. (:

goodnights t all.
goodnights t th one i love.
i miss youu alot..ryan

oyasuminasai. (:
aishiteru nayr.