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Sunday, February 18
2:35 AM
; happy lunar new year

i miss you so much..
don't question me why i'm
suddenly so down. but i'm
really so.. ?????? i don't
know what t say t describe
th way i feel. i'm so unsatisfied
with th way we're now.. why can't
you act like youre with me..
why can't you just say
i love you, just t make me happy.
i don't wanna know th truth,
cos' it hurts th most. >:/
went out with you today.
i was so excited, really.
its like my first date w youu.
but now, its like a first outing.
yeah. was really happy t see you.
ay, when you touch me..
played around nd held my waist,
i was over th moon. (: but i didnt
know whether t show it out or not.
i didn't dare t hold you back,
afraid that you might not like it.
i was really struggling with th temptation
of holding your hand.. nd hugging you.
i really miss all this, baby...
i wonder if you would let me hold you. [?]
(please tell me, if you read this.)
i'm really happy today.
all th physical touch,
all th funny moments,
i really enjoyed myself.
but theres still something
distant between us. th hearts.

ryan, i really miss you.
&i desperately want you back
by my side. that i can call you
my baby boy. nd i can be your girl..
i can change nd not have restrictions.
go out w friends, i dont mind.
i just wanna be w youu, that's all.
i merely thought i was fine alr.
since service.. but now, i just
cannt help it but miss you so much.
i think im going crazy without youu..
this is how i wished our hearts were like..

all th songs that you sent me,
i wished you sent them t me
not only cos' its nice but also,
cos you wanna tell me those
lyrics. i wanna hear you say..
i miss you, really too much.
youu're my mr sunshine.
.
anyways, happy chinese new year!
i realised i've nothing left actually.
no more boyfriend who loves me..
nd protect me nd miss me..
&no family, that loves me as much
as you do last time..
my family's a chaos now.
my brother's turning into a hooligan.
i got no comments. almost pushed me
nd made me fall on my head, nd my
parents just shouted nd scold me.
great, how great my life is.
went out with baby.(ex-baby..)
went t collect his jeans from levis.
walked around town. ate at pepperlunch.
he's always so cute. never fails t put a
smile on my face.. walked around. daiso
is new nd interesting. haha. jap store.
hmm, went t yishun w him. then took
bus t tamp t wait for parents t fetch me.
updated my LiveJournal.
yeap, th whole journal is all abt you.
i realised. i guess LJ is th best way
t display my emotions. cos' there are
not many viewers.. compared t here.
(i really wonder who reads my blog)
;i'm still waiting for you t come back..
when're you coming back, honey.
my arms are still here, longing for a hug.
nd a kiss, nd t hear you say; i love youu.
...
always here waiting, love.
