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FEAT.
vintage princess
victoria
veekee'vicky
zerotwo
sexy seventeen
city harvest
heard of my prettyface
IN-SEARCH
Sunday, April 23
10:43 PM
; durians!
it's a real phobia i've found.
nd it's guranteered.
thoughts are thrown in nd out.
my heart longs for an answer.
an answer that will stop troubling
me nd stressing me out.
i'm so stressed up over studies nd cell.
nd yeah, i've realised that i've got
great phobia over counselling nd even
a talk with any leaders i supposed.
ay, even the nicest cgl i've talked t
scared the shit out of me today. i almost
teared. no idea why but i really do hate
myself. yeah yeah. i really do.
why do i get so emotional during counselling ?
why do i get so scared nd worried ?
why cannt i act out a good counselling
session without crying or tearing ?
there's something seriously wrong with me.
ay, bro darren talked t me.
all of a sudden, i felt scared.
i had t fight those tears that were
coming out. i had t struggle trying
t listen, trying not t feel scared,
trying not t cry/tear, trying not t ruin
a proper talk. it went well, but i was
tired. i was worned out. i cannot go
on like this anymore.
im having major doubts of joining a
cell now. people might think i join
ryan's cell cos of him. i was even
questioned. nd man, i feel like shit.
im so peeved about all this cellgroup
shit. i think i might just go service
without a cell. i never mind going
service alone. although its lonely,
i never felt that it was a problem.
i'll miss out on the love nd warmth
of a cellgroup. truely, it rocks t have
a cell. but now, im between nowhere.
ay, i give up.
...
went t church with ryan today.
service rocks. pastor kong was
super duper funny with the bruce lee
thing. HAHA. can die from laughing. :p
vicky venikazi, some african singer,
sang. wow. bagus ! :DD really damn
powerful. so tempting t take my phone
nd record her voice. super addictive.
went t foodcourt with ryan's cell.
yeah didnt eat there. waited for
darius t go cic class which he ended
up not going. yeah yeah. went back
t attributes t get their bs books until
we bump into bro darren nd he asked
t speak t me. from then, my heart dropped
nd the world stopped spinning. i never felt
this scared-ness of my heart for a long long
time - since i never attend cell for 3681 years.
ay, no comments. he's still nice.
but yet, a leader .. is a leader.
that's my perception, i cannt seem t change.
went t look for them. bus-ed t bedok inter.
dined at long john. haha. funny funny. (:
darius nd yong qiang left. so i was there
t study. studied for two hours ? yeah. was
badly forced. ziqing, ryan nd ct all shoot me
down t my book when i tried t even talk t them.
peeved. haha ohwels. good for me. i learnt
something. (:
we went off t buy my favourite yummy delicious
DURIANS. haha. (: ohh so nice. yeah.
decided t go t my house nd eat them. haha.
they came t my house, played with ham ham. :p
he wasnt that active during the evening. haha.
ohwels. (: ate durians. not the best, but still,
able t pay back for the times i havent ate them.
yeah yeah. they went wild with my brother.
all, crazy monkeeys. they played floor ball like
so wild. haha. i can practically feel my house
shaking. (: they played in the study room after.
magic tricks nd lame stuff. haha. yeah yeah.
mummy made them some food before they left.
yeah yeah. (: i flunk my mango juice off when
my bro threw the fake lizard on me ? dumb luhh.
ohwels. thank God ct moved away, or else
the jie guo nobody wanna know. (:
walked them t the bus stop. yeah.
their bus came, went home. but
suddenly ct called me. hmm, he left
his wallet at my place ? LOL. so yeah.
went back home t pass it t him.
i'm super tired now. i wished i could
skip school. yeah i really wished. (:
ohwels. tk cr everyone.
&.youu made my day, darl'
i love youuuuuuu. :p
