-pats on vic's back.


i got outta my comfort zone nd did something
which i didnt do last time. while waiting for guan
sheng t appear, went t the ladies nd was vaining
at the mirror till this two little girls was trying
t on the tap. haha i decided t help them. good ?
haha not a BIG deed la. but im satisfied.

on my way home, pasir ris was the last stop. the
old lady was still sleeping like a pig so
soundly. i looked at everyone. they simply alighted
the train. nobody took the step t wake her up. i
felt so uneasy. poor lady. so i went t tap her legs,
no response. HMMM. so i shaked her alittle. haha.
i was very happy after that. what i receive was a
delighted smile nd [chinese] thank youu. ohwels.



buzz off if youu think i'm a loser doing this. (:
i know im not ` (:



the core of e31.


sounds rather nice eh. well, i donnt know
whether i should feel good about being
labeled as the more "mature" member
in the cellgroup or feel weird about being
the few who sound t be the rebellions.

ohwels. i guess bro darren really rocks.
he's a good listener. just someone i
needed most for the past few months.
but its just a waste that we donnt know
each other well. he listens
nd doesnt debates back. he solves nd
explains. this is what i call a leader.

i would love t be in his cellgroup. (:
no complains, really. ohwels. heart-throbbed.
he gave me that cute smirks smile again !
how cute. okay i donnt know how i reacted.
anyways, we were able t conclude the things
bro alvin needs t work on.

i must say it's first impression that affects
the opinion of someone. for me, i must say
my impression of bro alvin stays. he's a
leader, im a member. youu see, a clear drawn
line between us resulting the limited openess.
i must admit im not open t everyone. sometimes
i try. but i hate talking about me nd my stuff,
my problems .. i donnt like sharing. never.
nd another impression of bro alvin when he
wants t talk, it's scolding time nd lecturing.
thats why i hate talking. i still vividly remember,
16 oct 2004, friday night, at ryan's void deck,
after cell. that was my first counselling
session. i was terrified nd blown away. since
then, i felt so dangerous in church. like everyone
was bad people nd i was in danger. =/



; SIGH. i donnt know why im talking about
all those. my mind is all so stirred up nd
screwed. it's bl an k. i need a breather.

BREATHER PLEASE.




im glad bro darren cleared the "war" in
the cell. its a prayer come true. how funny.
i got encouraged by ryan when he said ;
pray for youur cell. ha, i thought
about it. maybe thats what i should start
doing nd quit complaining about everything.
so now, we know bro alvin has rooms t
improve nd learn. well, we all also have
our own rooms t improve. i have a mansion
of rooms t improve nd learn about. hmm.


; im so messed up nd confused.
all my heart felt was aches.
i couldnt decide. my heart was
tearing apart. it's bleeding.
i cried, youu teared.
now, i wanna cry.


; i'm sorry baby. it's my fault.
please donnt drown in youur
pain. i love youu `

i hate myself ?
cannt i be decisive.
cannt i make good promises.
cannt i learn t GROW UP.


victoria lim, youu suck.



fancy hoping for a christmas so lovely.
what i recieve is a tear on a door.
merry christmas, vic.